I’m never going to give a speech in front of a large group.

I always find someone else to do the speaking at work or in committee meetings.

I’ll do anything to avoid having to make a presentation.

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Dear Friend,

 

Do any of these sound familiar?  After cleverly avoiding the limelight for a lifetime, imagine you’re suddenly asked to deliver the eulogy for a loved one. Now what? This happened to a client of mine who came through one of my 4-session group classes and chose not to participate in any of the exercises. He listened, he gave feedback to the others after they delivered their practice speeches, but he wouldn’t try it for himself. About six months after the final session, he called me and said, “I wish I had participated and practiced—I have to give a eulogy for my father!”

 

It’s inevitable that during your lifetime you’ll be asked to give a eulogy or a toast at a wedding or an acceptance speech. Be prepared! There is no greater honor than to be asked to speak on behalf of others in honor of someone at their funeral or memorial service. And there are clear techniques, like with any speech, that if used will make it compelling, impactful and memorable.

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Two examples are included here. One was written and delivered by Rory Reid and the other by me. Rory was a good friend of Jim Rogers who was a prominent Las Vegas figure, a media mogul and an innovative philanthropist. Rory was asked by Jim’s wife, Beverly, to share his thoughts at the funeral. I was honored to be one of three asked to speak on behalf of Vincent Frey, who was a good friend, a kind heart and a well-known activist in the Las Vegas community. His mother, Ruth, and I had known each other for years and his partner, Chris, was the one who invited me to be one of the speakers. 

 

You will notice that my speech is twice as long as Rory’s. You can count on that being true any time you want to compare us, I’m sure, because Rory has a direct communication style and I…well, I don’t! I do, however, work tirelessly to make sure I don’t ramble, which is why I prepare and rehearse. I’m still working on “killing my darlings” as Stephen King warns us, reminding us that just because something sounds beautiful doesn’t mean we should keep it in the speech. 

 

Notice how neither of us started with pleasantries, like “thanks for being here,” or “I’m sorry we’re together for this reason,” or anything like that. Always have an opening that grabs the audience’s attention because they’re still sending that last text or filing their nails if you start with meaningless pleasantries.   

 

If you only have time to read one speech to witness an example of a powerful, memorable, compelling speech, read Rory’s. It’s under five minutes. If you read them both, you’ll have a better understanding about your own style and preference.

 

Both Rory and I have been asked to give other eulogies since then and it, without exception, is always an honor we accept and prepare for with the love, gravity and sincerity it deserves.

 

Will you be ready?

 

With gratitude,

Amy

 

Amy Ayoub

President, The Zen Speaker

info@thezenspeaker.com | thezenspeaker.com