Taking the Next Steps on Your 12-Step Public Speaking Journey
Finding Freedom from the Fear of Public Speaking Series
Dear Friends,
In this week's newsletter, we'll take the next steps on our 12-step journey that will enable you to overcome your fear of public speaking and embrace authentic conversations, whether that’s with one person or one thousand. Even if you don’t think shame could be a reason for your fear of public speaking, these steps will allow you to become powerful and effective whenever you communicate by being calm, confident, and compelling.
If you missed the last newsletter, which included an Introduction to the 12-Step Series or Steps One and Two. Please take a moment to read these before you join us for Steps Three, Four, and Five.
Step Three: Take Inventory of Your Tools and Use Them Intentionally
Have you noticed how often we don’t use the tools we have? For example, we can stretch our bodies anywhere and for free to get the physical kinks out, but we often complain instead. The most overlooked tool we have to help in conquering our fear is conscious breathing. There are many breathing exercises; you can find the one that works best for you. As a starting point, do the 4-count or box breath: Inhale through your nostrils to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4, exhale through your nostrils to the count of 4, and hold for the count of 4. Repeat 3-5 times.
Another tool is repeating positive affirmations: “My audience wants to hear what I have to say; I have valuable information to share; I am calm, confident, and compelling.” The secret to these techniques working is practicing often and not waiting until your anxiety kicks in before you enter the meeting or take the stage. Try it now: close your eyes or glance downward; inhale-2-3-4; hold-2-3-4; exhale-2-3-4; hold-2-3-4. Repeat 3 times, then open your eyes slowly and savor the peace! We all have time to do this quick and helpful exercise. You’ll want to make it a several-times-a-day habit so when you really need it, it will work immediately. This is like a mini meditation, so even if you aren’t nervous about what you’re about to do, it will help you find clarity and focus. It’s never a waste of time!
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Step Four: Mind Map Your Way to Clarity
Our resistance, aka writer’s block, often appears when you don’t think you know what to write or speak about so you don’t take any action. It turns out that you probably do know - you just have negative messages invading your thoughts like, “Who will want to read/hear this?” The good ol’ imposter syndrome rears its ugly head.
When this happens, engage in a brainstorming session with yourself through mind mapping. This is how I begin every speech or article. If you don’t know what mind mapping is, google it or feel free to reach out to me, and I’ll share how I do it. It’s a game changer!
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Step Five: Commit to Speaking Your Shame to At Least One Person
From my own experience and witnessing it in my clients, speaking your shame frees you to be authentically you. Shame can take many forms and extend from a missed a deadline or failed business venture to an abusive relationship hidden from public view. Click here to refresh your memory on some of the examples of shame I shared in the initial newsletter in this series.
When we keep something shamefully hidden, we are subconsciously worried that it will pop out, so we are always on alert and never allow ourselves to be vulnerable, which is exactly what is needed to connect to your reading or speaking audience (whether that’s one person or 1,000,000!).
Find the person—or people—who will completely hear you and give you what you need in that tender moment: advice (not usually!), a hug, a nonjudgmental look of understanding, empathy, or silent knowing and caring. You’ll know it was the right person when they celebrate your feeling of freedom with you and don’t start sharing their story. They’ll know that’s for another time.
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Go back to your mind map and add the stories you were hesitant to share before finding this strength to be vulnerable. Your writing will start flowing now that you found more clarity.
What you have feared most is your path to joy. I promise.
With gratitude,
Amy
Amy Ayoub
President, The Zen Speaker
What is the difference between The Soul Series and my other classes? The speaking courses—Beyond the Expected and Beyond the Podium—are focused on the process of improving your presentation skills to make you a calm, confident and compelling speaker. Those courses are designed to help you understand the BODY of an effective presentation (i.e., the skeletal structure of a great speech, how to flesh out ideas, the shape and sound of your delivery, etc.). They give you a solid foundation with the techniques you’ll need to make an impact every time you speak.
The Soul Series series takes a deeper dive into the SOUL of the creative and emotional effort that defines our lives. While this course will still be grounded in a sense of practicality, the main focus will be to help participants develop the interior depth and richness necessary for showing up fully in any area of life. Whether as a stand-alone course or in conjunction with (or as a follow up to) the speaking classes, you will find The Soul Series impactful and meaningful.
Magic is waiting for you inside this program and in one year you will be glad you made the commitment!
For more information or specific questions, please contact Amy at info@thezenspeaker.com.
Both one-time and monthly payments options are available.